I don't remember the date.....i don't remember the month. All I remember is a starlit night full of dreams, a night with songs of happiness and a night full of love......more happiness than anyone in the world can ever imagine.
Mortoja (my husband), Wadiyah (my baby)& I went out to eat that weekend. I don't know why, Mortoja suddenly wanted me to feel like a princess. He decided on taking me and baby to the most expensive restaurant in town. I was bubbling with joy.......After dinner we walked home...under the sparkling stars, holding hands and the baby laughing away as hard as she could....."I've got good news", Mortoja said with a mysterious smile.....he had a gorgeous payraise. Maybe this is what heaven is like? Maybe I'm meant to be the happiest girl in the world, Maybe!
Maybe fate had something else in store for me.Everything hapenned as quick as lightening. Mortoja had a fever next night. Then a routine blood test. Then the hospital. Then ICU. I don't know what happened next...I really don't know. The only moment I remember from those days is my sitting in the doctor's chamber with the words ringing again and again, "your husband has leukemia"......................I don't know how I got out of the hospital....I don't know how I reached home..........that night I looked at the sky. The stars were all gone.....
The decision was quick. He was flown to Singapore as early as possible. Biphenotypic Leukemia- a name that shattered all my dreams, a name that left me alone, a name that left my baby searching for her papa all day, a name that has taken away those little drops of happiness, those little drops of joy and the stars form the starlit nights.......
Today, after one month of chemo, I got the first glimpse of hope. Mortoja's bonemarrow test report is normal. Another 6 months of chemo may lead to complete recovery......and then a black shadow we will need 1,80,000 singapore dollars or more..that's the price for my starry nights! That's the price for that urge to just hold his hand once again and feel like a princess.
But today I have hope in my heart. Maybe I can raise the amount. Maybe, my baby's papa will come back to see her taking her first steps, maybe baby's papa will answer her calls, Maybe some night will come when I will feel like the most happiest person again.
From today I've started my journey. A journey to raise funds, a journey to bring back a father to his child, a journey to keep my own world from falling apart into nothingness. I don't know how it will be like....I don't know how far I can go.....but Mortoja, you made this world a heaven for me once, you never ever let a strain of sorrow touch me and I promise you I will bring you back one day........... I promise myself I will bring back those starlit nights........I've started a journey with hope in my heart.
