New infection

Mortoja is not responing to the antibiotics to control this infection. Doctors will change his antibiotic today.

My mum flew to Singapore two days ago and is with him now. I gave her a few pictures and videos of our baby as Mortoja was eager to see how baby was growing up. He told me to capture every new word, every new expression and every new thing she learnt. He doesn't want to miss out on any second of baby's growing up. The hospital provided a DVD. Mortoja watched for five minutes and requested to turn it off. He couldn't look at his baby. He just couldn't take it.

This is the baby he used to stay looking at hour after hour with amazement and awe in his eyes. Most of the time I saw him sitting by her side just looking at her....in the middle of the day or in the middle of the night when she was sleeping...........I used to yell don't look at her like that you'll wake her up....... My parents and his parents used to yell "don't look that way-nazar lagbe".....................now he can't even look at her for five minutes................

I wonder why and I wonder how our lives have come to change so much .....again I wonder how we are bearing all this. How I wish and wish all day that I will just wake up to see all of this is a nightmare..........I want to wake up and see mortoja sitting by the baby and looking at her with that same awe in his eyes................I've had enough of this ....I want to wake up....I want to wake up....i just want to wake up................