Mortoja's fourth chemo round will start tomorrow (24th june, Thursday). It's only because of the immense support from friends and family that we came so far (by the grace of Allah).
I believe that every cloud has a silver lining and my lining is to know we have so many well wishers, we have so many kind hearts to stand beside us. We still have a long way to go but inshallah we will reach our destination one day..............I know we will!
Rocky Balboa's speech to his son-
You've gotta hit as hard as life. It ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward? That's how winning is done."
Mortoja's third round of chemo has started today. Please pray
The doctor himself was amazed to see Mortoja's blood reports today. He has achieved complete remission that is no more cancer cells are there........it's a miracle! If only we can carry on the rest of the cycles then we have a hope of getting Mortoja back completely safe and sound. We have come so far because of Allah's will...He is the one who creates miracles.........He is here by us in every step.............May He help us to go even further!!!
After four days of chemotherapy, Mortoja is finally back at home. He is very weak and his infection is giving him a hard time. he is on antibiotics now and this is only part of his second chemo cycle.
I read something like this somewhere and this is exactly how I feel now-a-days: I feel wounded. I feel wounded when I wake up every morning, I feel wounded when I work, I feel wounded when I eat, I feel wounded when I talk or even when I smile and with these wounds in my soul I lie down at night again looking at the ceiling wondering why I've lost my power to cry............
I can't cry. No matter how hard I try it just doesn't come. I know until and unless I can cry my heart out I can't gather hope in my heart or I can't heal myself of this constant feeling of carrying a wounded soul. Oh Lord, please let me cry.......................
Mortoja is not responing to the antibiotics to control this infection. Doctors will change his antibiotic today.
My mum flew to Singapore two days ago and is with him now. I gave her a few pictures and videos of our baby as Mortoja was eager to see how baby was growing up. He told me to capture every new word, every new expression and every new thing she learnt. He doesn't want to miss out on any second of baby's growing up. The hospital provided a DVD. Mortoja watched for five minutes and requested to turn it off. He couldn't look at his baby. He just couldn't take it.
This is the baby he used to stay looking at hour after hour with amazement and awe in his eyes. Most of the time I saw him sitting by her side just looking at her....in the middle of the day or in the middle of the night when she was sleeping...........I used to yell don't look at her like that you'll wake her up....... My parents and his parents used to yell "don't look that way-nazar lagbe".....................now he can't even look at her for five minutes................
I wonder why and I wonder how our lives have come to change so much .....again I wonder how we are bearing all this. How I wish and wish all day that I will just wake up to see all of this is a nightmare..........I want to wake up and see mortoja sitting by the baby and looking at her with that same awe in his eyes................I've had enough of this ....I want to wake up....I want to wake up....i just want to wake up................
